The Cigarette

At lunchtime, Cass went for a walk to have cigarette as far away as she could get from the office in ten minutes.  She did not normally smoke at work.  She felt like a sixth former sneaking out of school. She had even made sure she had gum, toothbrush, toothpaste and perfume packed in her bag to get rid of the incriminating stench. She sat down   wrapped up in her coat in Finsbury Circus, watching a poor desperate MAMIL receive a sadistic personal training session by an Adonis.

Cass inhaled deeply and exhaled languidly. With every contemplative puff, her desire to push Caroline down the stairs subsided. Cass knew if she did assassinate Caroline, she would be doing the world a favour. Then she remembered that she was being unfair, Toby might miss Caroline.

Cass called Jane on her way back to the office.

“Merry Christmas! Miss me much?” said Cass

“Would you be offended if I said no?” quipped Jane

“No not really. Sorry for calling you at home. Have you had a good Christmas?”

“Yes, lovely now the in laws have left. You?”

“Good. I was slightly concerned by my parent’s functional alcoholism and distressed by my on-the-shelf-ness in comparison with my sister, so pretty normal!”

“Not being rude, but why are you calling me?”

“Caroline is going to sack Becky. She is not going to be here when you get back.”

“Fucking hell.” Jane sighed resignedly. “The girl has only been here two months. She has not done anything that stupid. She is just has to get up to speed. Most people need more than two months.”

“Poor kid. It is going to crush her. All that study and all that debt to just get sacked in your first job.  She was probably being paid badly as well. Is she living at home?”

“No, I think she is in a house share in Woodgreen.”

“How is she going to pay the rent? Merry Fucking Christmas from Caroline. I tried to defend Becky. Caroline said that I should understand more about stats by now and that everyone would be more profitable after a good sacking.”

“I hope that her mangy inbred mutt suffocates her in her sleep and eats her face.”

“Cats do that, but I get your point.” said Cass, thankful that she was not the only one with homicidal fantasies about her boss. “Do you think I should give Becky some money?”

“Seriously Cass! You don’t have enough money either.”

“Come on Jane! I do in comparison to her and I don’t have kids like you.”

“Are you going to do this every time Caroline sacks someone? If you are, then you are going to be very very poor.”

“I think I could give her £100.00, maybe £200.00, we get paid in two weeks, don’t we?”

“Why are you feeling guilty for that bitch’s actions. You are  a loveable idiot but still an idiot.”

“Love you too” smiled Cass

“Go back to work and don’t bother me until 5 January. I am hibernating.”

“Laters Mama Bear!” Cass rang off.

12 thoughts on “The Cigarette

      • I can but hope. I need it. I have been trying to get my work read. I am not really interested in getting it published (well that is what I keep on telling myself) but there are some ideas about greed and mental health issues which I want to be discussed by more people. I have really appreciated your comments.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I made one huge mistake that psyched me out. I was moving right along, chapters were piling up, then I started fantasizing about who would play Ted, my main character, in the movie version. Brad Pitt? Or if he wasn’t available, Michael Nyqvist? I had it all figured out. Then I realized I was an idiot, started seeing nothing but flaws and lost heart. I’m working my way back. It’s like a 12-step program. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Crikey, I have done that. I became despondent when no one was recognising my genius. Then I realised I am UNBELIEVABLY arrogant. I am just lucky to have someone take the time to read the nonsense which runs around in my head (and not have me committed). Now I am just going to finish it, because my imagination will not leave me alone until it is done. Also it is nice to say that I have written a book.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’ll pass along something I heard… I used to be a reporter and editor at a couple of newspapers, and heard this advice about how to write a lede (you have to spell it that way if you’re in the club. 🙂 )

        I cannot remember who said this, but the advice was to write two sentences. The first one should be “Jesus Christ, did you hear what happened?” And then write your next sentence. I think that’s good advice for novelists, too. Or to try to come close to the spirit of that, namely to make each paragraph make the reader move on to the next, and want to turn the page because they cannot stand knowing what happens next. You have that going. Lots of short sentences with action verbs, lots of dialogue. You’re further along than you think. And, I hear Brad Pitt may be available. LOL

        Liked by 1 person

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